May 19, 2002
Faithful readers, I am so ashamed.
The seventh episode of "She-Devils On Heels" -- my favourite radio show, maybe yours too -- came and went amid a very stressful month: workplace havoc, personal turmoil, and what seemed to be a non-stop string of extra-curricular activities. Venus faithfully transcribed the songs that we played that night, and no doubt she can remember exactly what happened on May 19th...but I confess: I don't. I have absolutely no idea what we talked about. In fact, I can't even remember what our topic was.
So I've decided to just make it up, though I know that Venus will swat me on the back of the neck. I've decided that our topic was love, and I came to this conclusion through a careful study of the songs we played. Look! Love! It's all over the place! And since spring is in the air now (though it certainly wasn't then), and since I've got this great picture of Ann Miller jumping out of a paper valentine, I've done some historical reconstruction (some might say confabulation) to tell you what happened on that fateful night:
It was one of the best shows we've ever done. Both Madonna and Dana International were there! And Madonna kissed my feet! Venus told heartfelt stories about all of his past loves, and a very rich sugar-daddy called up and asked me out on a date. We had a peacock on as a guest and he didn't sound anything like we thought he would. Divine ate dog poop. Venus sang a song on the air, and a famous record executive heard and signed her to a 3-year, 8 record deal. Did you miss it? Well, SHAME ON YOU!
(Your recollection of the show may differ slightly from what I have printed here, but that's just because you're losing your mind.)
| Song | Artist | Comments |
| Jacky | Marc Almond | Because we can dream, can't we? |
| I'm Not In Love* | Olive | Canadian to the tips of her toes! (This and all subsequent love-related songs are marked with a *) |
| Bette Davis Eyes | Gwenyth Paltrow | |
| Head Over Heels* | Go Go's | |
| 'Taint What You Do | Julie London | |
| The Saga Of Jenny | Ute Lemper | |
| Boom Boom Baby* | Darling Nikkie | |
| Let It Go | Luba | Our favourite Luba who isn't a comedienne! |
| Into The Groove* | Madonna | This is when she kissed my feet. |
| Feel Your Love* | Alanis Morissette | "Venus is an exemplary, though eminently mischievous purveyor of sartorial subversion," she said, and I poured a drink on her head. |
| Love Becomes Electric* | Strange Advance | |
| Mother Mother | Tracy Bonham | |
| Control | Poe | Every seven shows Muffy gets nasty. |
| Marder | Ramasutra | |
| Beautiful Red Dress (extended remix) | Laurie Anderson | One of the better songs about menstruation. |
| Drink My Honey | Lords of Acid | Not one of the better songs about menstruation. |
| Cherry Lips | Garbage | Ditto. |
| Flesh Under Skin | National Velvet |
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