| January 23rd,
2004 (Nothin' but fun!) |
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It's a Hallowe'en flashback from Club Abstract!
Marilyn Monroe and I share a cuddle with Manticore, the most vicious
stuffed tiger in the world. |
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Brad and I enjoy our favourite
drink: grenadine! Right out of the bottle! It's the
sweetest thing around (other than the two of us, of course). |
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Sometimes -- when I'm feeling
perverse -- I like to punish the dancers on Sunday nights by making
them take a picture with me. It's because I love them so
much! No effort has been made to remove the sweat from this
photograph. It's proof of our dedication to the God Of Fun. |
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This is sort of like a sweet,
panoramic scene from a Bollywood picture, except for the tell-tale
"Canada" cup and the absence of a dancing dwarf. |
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My goodness...I don't know when or
how. The strangest things can show up on your digital
camera! And thank goodness, too. We Are People
Having A Good Time. |
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Continuing our impromptu series of
"Pool Whore" pictures, here's Katie, Randy and I making a mess out of
the felt. Unsolicited Pool Tip: never use
that thing we're holding! Making a shot without it is much
sexier. Though you'll probably miss. |
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Two more fabulous Sunday Night
Dancers: Oliver and Josie! They were stranded in Kitchener
during the snowstorm, but no doubt they would have stayed to have fun
regardless (who am I kidding?) |
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Out of an accident (the flash going
off while I'm looking at the camera) a potential new viewer base is
born! This is for anybody who has a thing for shoes or
calves. Not baby cows. |
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Awww, this would win the "Cutest
Picture On This Website" award...if there was such
an award! Once again, the Pool Whores -- which special guest
Bulldog Whore -- use the table for a dangerous and somewhat damaging
photo opportunity. |
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A variation on a theme: this time
we're DANGEROUS! We have a pool cue! I might not
know how to play pool with it, but it would hurt if it hit you in the
head! |
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Yeehaw, I'm a cowboy, sort of! |
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After running away to New York and
starting her new career as a fashion designer, Big City Anastasia comes
back to slum with the rest of us! What am I pointing
at? Guess. |
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Hey, mister! Stop, in the
name of love! Can you spare a dime? Buy me a
drink? Let's dance! Nice shoes! Do you
have a pony? |
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It's a regular Girls' Night
Out! We're at Club Renaissance, we got the drinks, the music,
the fun and the friendship. What else do we need?
Besides money?
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What do you do or think when you see
somebody with this on the back of their head? I mean, what
can you possibly think? |
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I was so sad that everybody was
looking at this guy's head and butt all night, I felt it important to
show off his front. Not quite as flambouyant, but still
worthy! |
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As Katie distracts Brad with her
legs, I try to quickly suck up some of his excess animal
magnetism. Sadly, Brad is too drunk to notice, which goes for
all of us really. |
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"Dark Katie laughed and danced and
lit the candles one-by-one..." |
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January
14, 2004 (Birthday & The Matchbook Peacock)
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Happy Birthday To Me!
Yes, here I am, celebrating my advanced age by
simulating oral sex with a guy in his underwear. It's a tough
life!
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Happy Birthday To Me!
20 minutes into my birthday and there's already a theme
developing...
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Happy Birthday To Me!
Kate Bush Girl and I share a wildly exuberant moment at
Club Abstract, which was sort of a way-station during the
night.
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Happy Birthday To Me!
No tongues! Amanda and I wrap up the night in
style. But since it was Daylight Savings Time, I
cheated...and went back to Club Renaissance again!
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Happy Birthday To Me!
Don't ask me to tell you who these people are, because I
have no idea. But we had a great (and relatively heavy)
chat...just what I needed when I was preparing to throw up!
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Happy Birthday To Me!
We know our chicken! Annie and Tim -- along
with Amber -- were responsible for my great birthday
experience. Thanks, gals!
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Awww, I get to cuddle up with some
of my favourite music fans, Chris and Ken! What's more, if
you click on this picture you'll get a BONUS MATTY! (Sorry
hon, you didn't fit in the thumbnail!) |
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The incredible Tim invents the
world's first "Matchbook Peacock!" Sadly, you can't see the
crazy eyes, but it's still a sight to behold. |
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I'm a mild-mannered boring
milquetoast by day...but at night I become a POOL WHORE! In
an empty nightclub. Well, you need to start somewhere. |
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"Come hither," says the Pool Whore,
trying to think of a double entendre that does not involve balls or
pockets. |
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December
3, 2003 (Hallowe'en, Drag Your Ass Out, Fetish Night)
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Happy Hallowe'en!
My evil twin sister (Betty Vendetta) shows up at my
workplace with Manticore, her killer white tiger! Roy Hall
barely escapes the Queen Of The Jungle yet again.
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Happy Hallowe'en!
At Club Renaissance, Whore-othy and Blenda (the Good
House Witch) talk about the good old days in Oz, while Dildo the dog
rests happily unused in his basket.
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Happy Hallowe'en!
Betty Vendetta flaunts her total fearlessness in the
face of a papier-mâché chainsaw. She's
not a girl to be trifled with!
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Happy Hallowe'en!
Scream! Patti bravely endures a savage attack
by Manticore at Club Abstract. Don't worry kids, she's a
killer nurse...she can take care of herself!
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Happy Hallowe'en!
Get a couple drinks in her, and my sister starts
thinking she has something to prove. In this picture, Betty
wins a staring contest with the Club Renaissance Flame.
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Happy Hallowe'en!
Not content to let her strength go untested, Betty
actually sticks her hand in the Club Renaissance Flame!
Miraculously, she is unharmed.
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Happy Hallowe'en!
El Diablo Loki and Betty celebrate the joy of Canada's
tightest, most sincere metal band: GOAT HORN!
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November '03 BBGG!
Chris -- organizer extraordinaire! -- and I are
tragically kept apart by the pride probe, and by my horrible flu.
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Busker Flashback!
Just to prove what a RESPONSIBLE person I am, I show off
my blood testing equipment. Are ya' paying attention, mom?
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Busker Flashback!
Annie strikes a demure pose in Subway, as though
contemplating what the heck is going to happen next.
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Drag Your Ass Out!
Sebastian and I prepare mentally for the upcoming "Drag
Your Ass Out" show. More alcohol and quiet times, please!
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Drag Your Ass Out!
All catted-up during "Macavity, The Mystery
Cat." And hey, thanks to Crag for these fun pics!
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Drag Your Ass Out!
Haven't got a microphone with you on stage? My
advice to budding queens is: grab the thing that's sticking out of your
butt, and sing into it.
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Drag Your Ass Out!
Sebastian and I -- cheerful as chipmunks! -- prepare to
go onstage for the last song of the night. Part of this
preparation involves chocolate.
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Fetish Night!
At Club Ren's Fetish Night, my purse reveals just how
much she's imitating me.
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Fetish Night!
I practice the patented "Bettie Page Mouth," with little
success...this time.
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Fetish Night!
"Lick my foot, you little worm!" I command Dancing
Jesus, and he reluctantly complies for the sake of the
picture. What a sport!
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Fetish Night!
The end!
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November
26, 2003 (Jesus, dancers, and the rest of us!)
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At the end of the long-weekend disco
night at Club Ren, I do a little bit of work to earn my pay.
What a busy girl! |
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Kamara takes the idea of "Sin
Sundays" literally and gets completely sloshed...just enough for me to
convince her to wear the mysterious sweatband! |
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"Sanctity of Marriage" March
What do you do when a bunch
of people decide to have a "scare your MP" rally against
same-sex marriage? Show up to counteract their influence of
course. Here's some of us...
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"Sanctity
of Marriage" March
...and this is them! Praying and looking the
other way, because if you don't acknowledge reality you don't need to
deal with it.
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"Sanctity of Marriage" March
These are the winners of the "coolest dogs at the
protest" award! I've forgotten their names, so I'll call them
Buster and Chubs. Congratulations, Buster and Chubs!
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Patti give Jesus a high-five in
Newfoundland! I can't help thinking that she got closer to
Jesus by doing this than the "Sanctity of Marriage" folks ever will... |
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During the 2003 Edward Ka-Spel show
at Lee's Palace, I finally get to meet Lisa Amend in the
flesh! Too bad the guy who took the picture appears to be
slowly falling over. |
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October '03 BBGG!
I proudly display my gitch...all in the service of the
Boys and Boyz & Girls and Grrrls dance!
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October '03 BBGG!
I use my previously unknown superpower: I can remove all
of the lint off black shirts! The lint brush helps, of course.
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October '03 BBGG!
Folks at the BBGG engage in a primitive ritual: a
synchronized "Billie Jean" dance routine. How did this
tradition start, and why is it so fun? Scientists are baffled!
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I pose with "the collection," which
I believe is now on display at the Royal Ontario Museum. |
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At the prompting of Morgan James, my
fabulous co-host and I
do our "ABBA" impersonation. Can't you tell? Not
even a little bit. Yeah, we're rotten. |
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Octoberfest!
When I was very young, my parents put me in Lederhosen
and I cried. If only they'd given the dirndl a try...
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Octoberfest!
Race you to the beer tent! Actually, I have
never, ever gone Octoberfesting, partly because I don't like beer and
partly because I don't like being beaten to a pulp.
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