CREEPY PEDRO

    Pedro is loosely inspired by a real-life local character.  He's largely benevolent -- chauffeured around town by his long-suffering parents -- but to store owners and females he's an insufferable bane.  Not that he wants to hurt anybody, of course...he just doesn't understand.  He's a boy trapped in a man's body, thanks to a well-publicized incident with a bus, and while people do their best to patronize him he can eventually strain anybody's patience.

   While working at a video store here in Waterloo, another employee -- Jim Lang -- proposed a children's show starring this lovable but frightening fool.  Though we knew no local network would be willing to air a program so obviously lampooning a tragic case like this fellow, we started wondering what sort of adventures he'd have if he were allowed to run loose in the world.  Which countries would he visit?  What sort of thing would he eat?  Who, if anyone, would ever choose to spend time with him, week after week, other than the two of us?

   Earlier, in 1994, I'd spent some time writing scripts for my University's campus radio station.  The show was called Phillier -- because it occupied a half-hour timeslot that nobody else wanted -- and every week we'd show up and perform the things that people had written while they were supposed to be studying.  Sadly, much of Philler was comprised of long noise collages engineered by Eli McIlveen and myself, but it was fun for the 18 months it lasted, and if nothing else it taught me a bit about radio script-writing.

   So, it seemed logical to me that this idea of Jim's could be turned into a series of half-hour radio plays.  Inspired by the things we'd done in Philler, the early Firesign Theatre shows, and whatever I happened to be reading at the time, the plays came out slowly over the years.  Public response has been positive -- something about Pedro strikes a chord in people, and I'd hate to speculate why -- but attempts to actually record it (and, at one time, to turn it into a cartoon) have failed often enough to make me think that Pedro is destined to remain a shadowy, obscure figure similar to the Wumpus and Polkeroo.  Feel free to peruse the scripts that have been written, and if you find yourself inspired to perform them -- or even write your own -- please let me know.  It's always nice to hear that people like Pedro.

   These scripts improve in quality over time.  In fact, the first episode is pretty darn bad, and it deserves a rewrite (in order to make it funny, hopefully).  Think of it as a pilot episode that inspired the rest.

    EPISODE ONE: The Tenderlion
    Pedro visits the sleazy side of town and makes new friends!

    EPISODE TWO: Bride of Chi-Chi
    The tragicomic tale of a poor monkey who only wanted to be loved...

    EPISODE THREE: Creepiness Oblige
    Can Pedro go back in time to stop himself from becoming creepy?     
    {{ Only the first half is here...the second half may be lost forever }}

    EPISODE FOUR: Belgian Jailbreak!
    Texas Chooter needs Pedro's help...it seems Belgium isn't quite as idyllic as we'd thought...

    EPISODE FIVE: Camp Creepy For Kids
    Somebody's killing the creepy children.  How does this relate to Pearl Harbour?

    EPISODE SIX: A Creepy Parable
    Pedro writes a stupid boring dada-ist play and fights the adult babies...all to prove a point.

    EPISODE SEVEN: The Creepy One From the Sky
    Pedro, his gang of freedom fighters, and the author enter the Dungeon of Reciprocal Doubt. Are they all just figments of an imaginary friend's imagination?

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