THE OLD NEWS

 

NOVEMBER 2, 2001

   Here, there, and everywhere!

    Life, fortunately, is a never-ending adventure.  New things are always happening.  Now, even though Planet Bollybob hasn't been updated in a few weeks (mainly due to the inconvenience of getting the all-important goofy screenshots) that doesn't mean we at the BollyBob society have just been sitting around on our tushes doing nothing.

    Well, honestly, I can't speak for the others.  We did all get together last night to watch "Zanjeer" and ponder why there wasn't a single fabulous dance number in it.  But for myself, life is a never-ending whirlwind of petty projects and even more petty dramas, so I figured I'd replace the long-missing "DangerMuff" website with a new one, just to let you know what's going on.  If you like the reviews here, you may enjoy the adventures of Creepy Pedro...the complete set of Pedro radio plays are over there for you to peruse.  I'll try to get some more things up there in the near future.

    In the meantime, I'll work on reviews for "Mr. Bechara" and "Zanjeer," while trying to pull together the "It's Melton!" comic, and hopefully BollyMike will get it in gear and review that ghee commercial you're all wetting your pants about.

OCTOBER 9, 2001

  Mega-Craze 2001!

    I go to the Air Canada Center in Toronto to see a bunch of guys pretend to play cricket, and to explore the complex reactions of a large Indian population to a single, out-of-place drag queen.  On the positive side, it's a wonderful time, the show is professional and entertaining, and the stars remind us why they became so famous and adored in the first place.  On the negative side, Sukhwinder, no Johny Lever, and some really uncomfortable seats.

SEPTEMBER 6, 2001

  The winner of the "Best Male Wig" award!

    Last month I held a little-publicized contest to see which actor in "Nigahen" should win the "Best Male Wig" award.  There was some stiff competition between the two contestants (Garaknath and Raja Saab), but email correspondent Leili broke the 0-0 tie by casting her vote.  She had this to say:

  I vote for Dr. Raja!

  Dr. Raja rules supreme because his wig is both pointless *and* absurd. Garakhnath's wig serves a purpose: it helps him look like the Evil Tantrik Baba he is. Now Dr. Raja, on the other hand... well, I just can't see how his character is enhanced by sporting a coiffure that looks like it was borrowed from the lead singer of an early 80s New Romantic group and spray-painted silver.

  Dr. Raja zindabad!

    Even though I'm totally impartial, I whole-heartedly agree with Leili, and I'm proud to present the "Best Male Wig" award to Raja Saab.  My only misgiving was that I knew Garaknath would kick up a stink about losing, and I'd hate to be on the receiving end of his considerable tantrik wrath.  So -- taking my cue from break dancing movies where they needed to give EVERYBODY a prize to keep the rival gangs from killing each other -- I've decided to award Garaknath as well by placing his head on the official "Best Male Wig Award" trophy.  This way everybody is happy and I won't come home to find a mongoose made out of bread hiding under my futon.

AUGUST 30, 2001

  "The Banyan Tree" by Rabindranath Tagore

    Many people claim that "classical" Indian culture and Bollywood just don't mix.  But have they ever wondered how well "classical" Indian poetry and my grandfather would get along?  I decided to find out for myself, and I must say the results are intriguing.

    Here, for the first time, is "The Banyan Tree" by Rabindranath Tagore, picturised with photo montages featuring my drunken grandfather (also known as "The Beast.")  I was curious to see if the touching nature of the poem would survive this treatment, but I'm happy to say that it retains it's poignancy...in fact, this up-to-date version makes me cry even harder than the original, and I like to think that Rabindranath would be proud.  In fact, he may have imagined it turning out exactly like this...

 

AUGUST 24, 2001

  The Plutonium Thermos!

    The Agar Tum Na Hote review is going to take a week or so to appear, but in the meantime I'm presenting an EXCLUSIVE, advance-issue "Planet BollyBob" expose on the Bedi Family's Plutonium Thermos!  

    Using a display of carefully arranged, never-before-seen screenshots, this pictorial will tell you everything you need to know about the amazing Bedi Plutonium Thermos...except how to get one.  I understand this brand of thermos is no longer available to common householders.  Not even Malabar -- a company "very well accepted by the Indian Armed Forces," produces them these days.

    If you don't wish to have the intense thermos subplot of "Agar Tum Na Hote" spoiled for you, I recommend you wait for the actual review to appear here.  It will still spoil the movie for you, but it will do so more comprehensively.

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